Computer Jokes

Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating-point divider?

A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel) 

 

Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?

A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605. 

 

Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem. 

 

Top seven new slogans for Intel:

•You Don't Need to Know What's inside

•Redefining the PC and Mathematics As Well

•We fixed it! Really!!

•Division Considered Harmful

•Why Do You Think They Call It Floating Point?

 

Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a light bulb?

A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard. 

 

Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to read.

 

Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

 

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) 

 

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

 

Enter any 11 digit prime number to continue...

 

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! 

 

"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and Unix. We don't believe this to be a coincidence."

----Jeremy S. Anderson 

 

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." Bill Gates, 1981

 

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course. He needed help to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew over to it, and while circling the building, drew a handwritten sign and held it up to the helicopter's window. The sign said, "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. The people in the building quickly responded to the helicopter, drew a large sign and held it up to the building's window. Their sign read "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved to the people in the building, looked at his map, and flew straight back to Seattle airport and landed. After they were on the ground the passenger asked the pilot how the sign "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" helped determine his position? The pilot responded, "I knew I had to be at the Microsoft building because, similar to their help lines, they gave me a technically correct, but completely useless answer".