A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it
was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though
it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl
stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked what if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied,
Then you ask him".
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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she
got to one little girl who as working diligently, she asked what the drawing
was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said,
"But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking
up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice
it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or That's Michael. He's a doctor.'" A small voice
at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow
shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made
a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line,at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all
you want. God is watching the apples.
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