Jokes

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?

----------------
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

----------------

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in
punjab . Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

What is a similarity between Mobile & Marriage? ""Kash thoRe din ruk jaata to achha Model mil jaata...!!!""

 

1)      Teacher tells a student a=b, b=c implies a=c.
Tell me an  example.   Student : I love u - u love your daughter - so I love your daughter.

-------------------------------------------------------

3)    Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"

It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".

------------------------------------------------------

4) What is a girl friend?     Addition of problems, subtraction of money,
multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

 

Father : Abraham Lincoln studied very hard at your age, Son.That is why he could be a great person.

Son : Dad, but he became the President of the United States at your age (52 years old)!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Pupil : A teacher.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Waiter : Would you like your coffee black?

Customer : What other colors do you have?

--------------------------------------------------------------

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot.

Sam : It's a family tradition.

Teacher : What do you mean?

Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.

Teacher : What about your mother?

Sam : She's a woman.

---------------------------------------------------------

Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?

Student : Brotherly love.

--------------------------------------------------------------

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"<?xml:namespace prefix = o />

<?xml:namespace prefix = o /> 

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.<?xml:namespace prefix = o />

<?xml:namespace prefix = o /> 

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"<?xml:namespace prefix = o />

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."<?xml:namespace prefix = o />

<?xml:namespace prefix = o /> 

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I <?xml:namespace prefix = o />

wouldn't be here."         

                            I am getting married next week.

There will be small party


and only a few people will be invited.


Dont brings any gifts.


just brings SOMEONE to marry me.





-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Galileo : Great Mind


Einstein : Genius Mind


Newton : Extraordinary Mind


Bill Gates : Brilliant Mind


ME : Master Mind


YOU : Never Mind


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-





Good Person : Its YOU


Good Friend : Its YOU again


Good Heart : Thats YOU !


Good Will : Its also YOU !


Good Looking Ahh....


hold it. Its 2 much 4 u..... Now its ME


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-





CHI CHANG CHEN


LAINGHUANG THEIN


CHI KWA SIAU-CIE


WOHEN HAU NI THAZ


THAZ HAO OEI SIEN-SHENG


Agar samj nahi aa raha ho


to padh kyon rahe ho....?


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-





Why do we drink water ?


Because we cannot eat it.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-





Which letters R* cute* ?


A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M


N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Ans. : Dont tell any 1 ok?


'U' and 'I'


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?


Son : Not much dad, just a radio


with a sports car around it.

A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.

The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs.

The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks."

The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now ! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks.

The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money ! If you're not going to give my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"

---

Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.

He  asks one man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here?  -  Man Replies 12.30. "When will Punjab Express go from here"?  -  Man Replies 10.30.

"When will Deccan Queen go from here"? -  Man Replies 12.30.

Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to Punjab by train or not.

Sardar replies, "NO. I only want to cross the tracks!"