Jokes

George Bush goes to a school George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is."Bob"."And what is your question, Bob?""I have 3 questions.

1st, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? 2nd, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? And 3rd, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right — question time. Who has a question?"A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve"

"And what is your question, Steve?" "I have 5 questions. 1st, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? 2nd, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? 3rd, what happened to Osama Bin Laden? 4th, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes earlier? And 5th where is bob?

 

 

                           Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and
says,

"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed
your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,  "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not  me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carsberg, you're all the same."         

                   Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: Go with the good news first.
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What!?! How about the bad news?
Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday.

 

 

You know it is time to reassess your relationship with your computer when.... >

1. You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and >stop to check your email on the way back to bed.

>2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if >you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

>3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just >for the free internet access.

>4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.

>5. You start using smileys :-) in your snail mail.

>6. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

>7. You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a >computer.

>8. When your email box shows "no new messages" and you feel really depressed.

>9. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they >have nondescript screen name and you never bothered to ask.

>10. You move into a new house and you decide to "Netscape" before you >landscape.

>11. Your family always knows where you are.

>12. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say "LOL, LOL".

       

How  can Santa Singh Kill a Lion?
  Santa Singh thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison and let lion eat me.
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Wife:Honey...... What are you looking for?
Husband:  Nothing.
Wife:  Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour...??
Husband  : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
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Santa Singh: O  Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?
biwi: Oji  Car ki break fail ho gayi hai,  Accident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.
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Man  before Marriage I like  Airtel...."Aisi  Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
After  Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network Follows."

 

Teacher :Because of Quaid-E-Azam's hard work what do we get on 14th August.
Student:A holiday

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Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."

Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.

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Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

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Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in english, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."

 

Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ...

Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?

Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi.

 

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question

Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?

Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

 

Two Sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other

to check whether it is working.

He puts his head out and says - YES..NO..YES..NO..YES..NO