Tuesday, April 14, 2009

SANTA n BANTA

Banta Singh and Santa Singh got tired using cell phones and for a change decided to use really ancient methods of communication.


They Decided to use pigeons to send messages. So they went and bought Expensive carrier pigeons from the Jama Masjid market in old Delhi and found to their joy that the pigeons indeed could be trained and the birds very easily learnt to return directly to their respective Homes.


And so this scheme worked very fine. One day Santa sends his pigeon.


When the pigeon reaches to Banta it Is with out message. Banta picked his mobile and asked Santa "What Is this joke? The pigeon is without any message!!!"


Santa said "Oye khoteya, this was a missed call."




3


A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C.


After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for Filling up. U knows y?


FORM said " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".




8



19 SARDARS WENT 4 A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME


IN A BIG GROUP OF 19? THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS


ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...




12


Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open


mouth................. WHY?


because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should


be light"_-=




27


Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.


Sardar says... Drink quickly......


Wife asks why...


sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10




28

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.


Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?


Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll


apply NEXT YEAR




35


Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with

his eyes closed.


His wife asked what you are doing ?


He said-im seeing how i look while sleeping





Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says "Hi, Main bol

Raha Hoon".





The other sardar replies "Oye Kamaal Hai Yaar, Athe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"





==========================================





Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has two swimming

pools, one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!




==========================================





Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket

counter with two men ahead of him.





'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front. He was given a ticket.





'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' the second man asked and was handed a ticket.





Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!'





'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk.





'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh.




==========================================





Help.... !!




The Titanic is going to sink....





Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God...





Just then a Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.





Italian : How far is land, from here ?





Sardarji : Two miles .





Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I


have got the experience of swimming even more.





The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the


surface to ask the Sardar something again.





Italian : Just tell me which direction is land two miles from here ?





Sardarji : Downwards......





Srdr: I haven't slept all night in the train.

Frnd: why?


Srdr: Got upper berth.


Frnd: Why didn't you exchange seats?


Srdr: oye, there was nobody to exchange with in


the lower berth..





Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.

Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.


again twins & named Max & Climax.


Again the same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED


& RETIRED!




Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out,

climbs tree, sits on the Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.


Srdr:"I've been promoted to branch manager."




Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".

After much thought he wrote : Yes!




One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to

his college.


Why?


Because he wanted to check where the question


paper is leaking...




Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant: It"s Already raining.


Sardar: So what, take an umbrella and go.




Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -

What will come first, Chicken or egg?


- O Yaar, what ever you order first will come


first.




Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver This packet to you

Sardar:- Why did you come so far. You could have


posted it....




Sardar proposed to a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1 year elder to

you'...........


Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry


you NEXT YEAR.




Sardar's wish :when i die, I wana die like my

grandpa who died Peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..




Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is What you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror!


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