Philosophy from George Carlin :

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's    the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and   there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?
10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,   is it considered a hostage situation?
11. Is there another word for synonym?
12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"
14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
24. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
25. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?