marriage in the views of great minds

  I recently read that love is entirely a matter of
        chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
        toxic waste.
        - David Bissonette
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        When a man steals your wife, there is no better
        revenge than to let him keep her.
        - Sacha Guitry
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        Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside
        desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get
        out.
        - Montaigne
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        After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
        coin; they just can't face each other, but still they
        stay together.
        -- Hemant Joshi
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        By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be
        happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a   philosopher.
        -- Socrates
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        A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking;
        the husband gives and the wife takes.
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        Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us
        from achieving them.
        -- Dumas
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        The great question... which I have not been able to
        answer... is, "What does a woman want?
        -- Freud
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        "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two
        years."
        - Sam Kinison
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        "There's a way of transferring funds that is even
        faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
        - James Holt McGavran
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        "The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at
        home too much."
        - Colin Chapman
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        "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want
        to interrupt her."
        - Rodney Dangerfield
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        "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one
        left me and the second one didn't."
        - Patrick Murray
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        Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
        Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave
        the hallway light on.
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        My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long
        as I don't enjoy it.
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        The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to
  keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
        -- Groucho Marx
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        My wife only has 2 complaints. Nothing to wear and not
        enough closet space.
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        You know what I did before I married? Anything I
        wanted to.
        -- Henny Youngman
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        A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
        wrong.
        -- Milton Berle
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        Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the
        enemy.
        -- Anonymous